First proper date night.

 ‘You wanna tell me what’s been bothering you? Well, I mean if you want to talk about it, I don’t want to force you or anything’ he asked as we walked back into the house. I paused; then proceeded to make my way to the couch. I was quite tipsy so I felt like I had no control over what I was going to say. I didn’t know what to tell him. I barely knew him and most importantly and where do I start? Then I had this heavy, tightening feeling in my chest, like all my problems I’d been keeping inside of me were trying to burst out. I couldn’t help it, I had to tell someone. And here and now, there was someone who’d listen to me so I sighed deeply and told him everything. I told him about how I felt so alone my life wasn’t moving anywhere. How I felt like no one had ever cared for me aside from my family and how worse that feeling got worse as soon as I moved out and I couldn’t stop myself no matter how hard I tried, it’s like all the troubles and worries and problems were trying so hard to leave me no matter how much I wanted to keep them in and then I started crying again. I buried my face in my hands and cried so hard, harder than I’d ever done before and it felt so good, just to let out all this pent up emotion that had been with me for so long. And then I felt Deux put his arms around me and kiss the top of my head. He held me so close and so tight. ‘Don’t worry, everything is going to be okay, I am here for you’

We sat in the car making small chat as he drove towards the costal area of town. I spent most of my time staring out of the window, I hadn’t been round these parts in years and I felt a massive wave of nostalgia wash over me. I started to remember when my parents used to bring me down here as a kid, we’d have picnics and run up and down the river banks for hours. That place held so many childhood memories. I remembered being young and carefree, not having even the slightest of worries and looking forward to growing up. Now that I’m all grown up, I’d give anything to be a child again.

‘We’re here’. I turned around to see Deux staring intently at me, like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking about. I smiled wryly at him, ‘this better be good’ I said, trying to sound as cheery as I possibly could as I slowly got out of the car.

Ink

As I got ready, a million questions were racing through my mind. ‘Where is he taking me?’ ‘Why is he being so nice all of a sudden’ ‘I’m sure there’s some weird ulterior motive to this’ ‘I’m sure he’s trying to get something out of me’ but I quickly brushed them all aside. Why couldn’t I just accept the fact that someone was actually genuinely being nice and looking out for me? Maybe it’s because I’d never bothered to really connect with anyone besides my family and letting some stranger in was strange to me, if anything, it made me feel nauseous.

I took a deep breath as I looked at myself in the mirror before leaving my room. ‘There’s nothing to worry about, he’s just trying to make you feel better’ I picked up my keys and my bag and walked into the front room where he was sat waiting for me.

‘You look beautiful’ he smiled. I could feel him eyeing me up and down, it made me feel slightly uncomfortable. He walked to the front door and I could feel my face burning up so I looked to the ground and murmured a quick thank you.

‘Shall we be on our way then?’ he asked quietly, as he held the front door open. ‘You’re going to love this, I can assure you’.  

Cutie pattooties

I’d been sat in my room all day, trying so hard not to think about anything that’d put me in a bad mood but I couldn’t help it. Then I heard a slight, hurried knock on my door.

Ink, is it okay if I come in, I…. I want to talk to you about something’.It was Deux? What the heck did he want now?

‘Give me a minute’ I hurriedly replied back as I flew out of bed and tried to look presentable. I hadn’t left my room properly or showered in a couple of days so I looked an absolute mess. ‘Come in’, I said trying to sound as cheery as I could as I brushed strands of hair out of my face with my fingers. Deux walked slowly into my room, looking slightly worried.

‘I just thought I’d check up on you, see how you’re doing cause I haven’t seen you in a couple of days’ he was looking at the ground, trying not to make any eye contact. ‘I’m fine, seriously..

You don’t need to worry abo——

‘You don’t have to lie to me’, he said in a low voice, crossing his arms. ‘I know something is wrong. I know we barely know each other and I hate that cause I can’t do anything to help. It’s driving me up the wall, I just want you to be happy and cheery and back to your former self’ he continued as he slowly started to walk towards me. I looked up into his eyes and all I could see was fear, no one had every shown this kind of fear or emotion towards me before, it was almost… frightening. He took a step back and inhaled sharply then forced himself to smile

‘Hey, I know what’ll cheer you up. You take a shower and get ready; I want to take you somewhere’ I hesitated. I was a bit unsure about whether I wanted to let this stranger in and let him know what was worrying me. ‘I’m not sure, I don’t——‘

‘Hey, I promise you, it’ll make you feel better’ he interrupted again. ‘Now get a move on’ he said, as he walked out of my room. I didn’t know what was happening but for some reason, I had a slight reassuring feeling that everything was going to be alright. 

Deux

I’ve only been in the house a couple of weeks and I’ve slowly begun to noticed Ice isn’t the way she used to be. When I first moved here, she was so bubbly. So full of life. She had this spark that you rarely see in people and now she just looks so disheveled and run down and it’s making me worried. I’ve tried talking to her whatever it is, but she keeps brushing me off, saying nothing’s wrong and that I shouldn’t worry about her but I truly am worried about her. What makes it worse is that we haven’t really been able to establish a relationship since I moved in. I’ve only been here a couple of weeks and if I knew things were going to be like this now, I would have made some effort to get to know her so I can be there by her side to comfort her and know she could confide in me. There’s so little I can do to help her and it’s driving me nuts. 

Ink

I’ve been feeling really down the last couple of days, I tried everything I usually do that made me happy but nothing seemed to work and calling my parents and talking to them made me miss them even more than I did. I miss my parents, the way my mum would stroke my hair and tell me everything would be okay when things were going awry and the way my dad would tell me a story from his youths that always seemed to apply to my situation, I miss my little sister and hate the fact that I’m not there to see her grow up, I just miss everything about being at home, the comfort, the warmth. Right now all I have is some dude that the company sent over to live with me and I can’t really talk to him, I barely know the guy, I could go visit my parents but I feel like I’ll be even worse when I return. I feel trapped and stagnant and like there’s nothing I can do about it 

Deux: Make way, Beyonce is in the building.

Deux: Crap, this is really difficult. 

Ink: Come on, keep up.

Deux: Hey, you’re cheating. You’d be falling about too if you didn’t have wings.